More Pagan funnies for all! My Red Rose Final Tigger's Full Moon Ritual Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Casserole Coven No-Nos Pagan in the Military Redneck Goddess Charge Stupid Pagan Jokes Portfolio Home The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Casserole To prepare for this ritual, clear a space for circle in the center of the kitchen. Then don your ceremonial apron and hold your ceremonial spatula in your right hand. Stand in the center of your circle and face east. You are ready to begin: 1. With your spatula, draw a banishing pentagram to the east. Then, thrust your spatula through the pentagram and say, “Microwave dinners, be gone!” 2. Move to the south. Again, draw a banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, saying, “TV dinners, be gone!” 3. Move to the west. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, saying, “Ramen instant noodles, be gone!” 4. Move to the north. Draw the banishing pentagram and thrust your spatula through it, saying, “Mystery meat in a can, be gone!” 5. Move to the center of the circle and stand still. Chant the following: “Before me Martha Stewart. Behind me Betty Crocker. To my right side, Julia Child. To my left side, Martha Stewart, AGAIN!” Visualize yourself standing in a giant casserole and proclaim, “For about me bakes the casserole, and around me shines the 6-course meal.” Clap your hands three times and say, “It’s a good thing.” The rite is over. If the ritual is not effective, please order take-out ASAP! Stupid Pagan Jokes What do you call a dating club for unattached Witches? Craft singles A skeptic goes into see a fortune teller. "You are the father of 2 children" the fortune teller says. "That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!!" says the man. "That's what you think" says the fortune teller. The Mighty God Thor was riding across the skies on his fiery steed Pegasus. He raised his hammer and bellowed, "I'M THOR!, I'M THOR!" Pegasus looked up at him and muttered, "You thoulda wore your thaddle, thilly." Hail to the Sun God! He's a real fun god! Ra, Ra, Ra! What do you call 13 Witches in a hot tub? - A self-cleaning Coven Sign in a Wiccan Bookstore: "No shoptlifing! Offenders will be Possessed!! Second offenders will be re-possessed!" How many Witches does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on what you want to change it into. I had my car's alignment checked. It's chaotic evil!! This is page three of my Red Rose Web Design final. On this page I added a drop down menu from The Site Wizard. Click on the "next" button to move on to page 4. Back to Hafapea's Universe